Have you really thought about who you are? If someone asked you this direct question what would your response be?  I ask this question to many of my clients and I get answers like, I am a travel agent, an engineer, a CEO, or a mother, father….etc, etc.  Oh really, I say?  I am hearing what you do but I haven't heard who you are?

We may think we are what we do but if you really delve deeper with this question you will find you are much more. Knowing who you are can affect many aspects of your life.  Where you work, who you hang out with, what you do with your time and yes, what you look like.  When looking for a change in life, people tend to designate their selves by what profession they are in or what they do.  Most happy people do what they do because of who they are. Who are you?

Discover who you are

There are several ways one can get in touch with WHO they are.  Which one works best for you?

Through the mind:

Have you ever taken personal assessments or had a performance review and thought, “That isn't me” or “WOW that sounds just like me”!  Well, I have experience both responses. Some of the comments I read about myself felt right while others I fought every word on that page! Regardless, it gave me an opportunity to actually take some time for me to think about who I really was. I asked myself, is this who I am or is this just how others perceive me?

In the areas of the assessment or the performance review that I didn't believe, I couldn't wait for that next opportunity to show them they were wrong. I thought it maybe I just didn't answer the question correctly on the assessment or in the case of a performance review, I thought it was just a misunderstanding that my boss had. 

However, I had made the decision to really look at my behavior and how I was being.  The words I saw that I didn't agree with stayed with me. I became more aware of my behavior in certain situations and believe it or not, I found that 9 times out of 10 I indeed acted in some manner as the assessment or review had described. 

So I believe there is a place for personal assessments if you are willing to be open minded.  They can help you understand who you are at work or in a social gathering. Taking the items you agree with and building upon them, while at the same time, being open to explore the responses that don't resonate with you.  Yes, tuck them away until you come upon a situation where you discover you may be acting out exactly as the assessment suggested.  Be in awareness of the behavior.  Understand how you got there and why.   Take a moment to right down the behavior you didn't like.  Don't judge it, just record it and record it every time you experience an action that is NOT you.  Being in awareness of it is the first step in letting go of who you are not and allowing who you are to come through.

There are several professional assessments in the marketplace. In my coaching business, I use PsyMax Solutions that focuses on your skills and aptitude as well as a core strengths assessment evaluation from Dr. Marvin Seligmen, the director at University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology department. Dr. Seligman's main mission has been the promotion of the field of Positive Psychology. He is focused on making the world a happier place!  I use this assessment extensively because it is the only one that I have found that really focuses you inward, on your CORE STRENGTHS…. who you are.  You can find the assessment on www.authentichappiness.com.  Again, most assessments are geared more to your skills and behavior on the outside, or how you act.  Both styles are useful in helping you get in touch with the real you.

If you take any assessment, be willing to spend some time with it. Whether you do it by yourself, or with a professional that can help you come to an awareness of what it is telling you, have an open mind. Questions to ask yourself in the process: Am I living my strengths?  Am I in an environment that best suits my strengths?  Are there any strengths on the list important to me that I can work on to bring them up into the top five?  What are the areas I don't resonate with?  What is important about them?  What is it I need to focus on to help enable change? Once you are comfortable with your true core values, it is easy to recognize who you are.

Through the heart:

When you stop your mind chatter and put the ego aside, what is left?  Do you stop breathing, hearing or lose any of your senses?  Who is it in you that suddenly starts to whistle or hum without thinking about it?  Have you ever made a decision to start whistling?  Hmm…I think I will whistle now?  I have read that whistling comes from a “bored” mind. Well it can be good to have a bored mind! Yes, something inside guides you even when you aren't thinking.  Many call this their soul or their higher selves.  I call it our spirit.

Our spirit is the quiet one that nudges you now and then to take a different direction or to make a change. When you are not bogged down with thoughts from the mind, it opens up that knowingness inside that speaks up. If you listen, it will often guide you to a new path on your life's journey. Leading our lives with our spirit allows us to be who we innately are.  So decisions are based on truth.  Leading with our ego uses all our learned beliefs, our past and our perceived future to make decisions.  The ego creates FEAR (False evidence appearing real) based on what it has learned. Therefore, your decisions are being made from a fear base rather than from who you really are and therefore, what you really want. 

Take a few moments out of your day to stop the mind chatter, tell the ego to sit on the sideline for a moment.  What is your internal self telling you?  Are you in the right job, the right relationship?  If not, what is it telling you to do?  What feels right? When you are centered and aligned, you can hear that internal self. Can you quiet your mind enough to hear it?  I recommend a book that can help you identify your mind, your ego or what the book calls, your Gremlin!  It is titled Taming your Gremlin written by Rick Carson.  It can help you become aware of who you are not!

I wish you the best in your search for you. It is your path now. Your next steps are up to you.

Article by:

Dennece McKelvy
Career and Business Coach
dennece@mypathnow.com
http://www.mypathnow.com

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